Saturday, March 9, 2019

The Rutted Path Around The Familiar Mountain

A year ago, I came to a place in my life that I have been many times before. A place, that I was tired of coming to. A place that spoke failure and defeat to me each time I found myself there. I could clearly see the deeply ingrained rutted paths that I had left before and tried previously to walk around this huge mountain.  On this day, March 12th, 2018, I was going to try to walk this very familiar path again. How many times have I tried and failed? Too many.

All my adult life I have battled with my weight. It has consumed me and I was always so self conscious of it. Through the years there have been things I haven't done or gone to because of my weight. It was no one else's problem but my own. I didn't have health issues to make me overweight. In all honesty I just love to eat. McDonald french fries are my weakness.

I don't know exactly what spurred within my heart that morning in March.  I just knew that I was going to try again and I held out hope that I would find what I needed to conquer this battle in my life. These are the things that I knew that morning. (not in order of importance)


1. I wanted to be healthy most of all
2. I wanted to enjoy the moments and not think about my weight anymore
3. I wanted to be there for my grandkids
4. I had a big class reunion coming up many months down the road
5. I've always dreamed of that little black dress for my hero
6. I wanted to be a testimony of the Lord helping me conquer something I needed His grace and help to achieve. Part of the fruit of the spirit is self control.
   

The one year mark is almost here and I am only a few pounds shy of the 80 pounds I wanted to lose. I feel fantastic.  I have so much more energy and really notice it when I have to run up the jet way to open the door for the passengers before they get there. 

I found a plan that worked for me. It doesn't work for everyone. It was what I know the Lord placed on my heart and I followed through. My hubby was so supportive and he's even lost 20 or more pounds by eating healthier too. It is a plan that just helped me with choices and moderation. There is nothing I cannot eat. The bottom line is, it really is about choices. I just needed some help making them. I so totally understand the self consciousness, the shame, the pain, the discouragement, the tears and hearts of all of us who have struggled in this area.

It's not about what size I wear or the number on the scale. It's about being healthy to be able to accomplish all that the Lord has for me in my years remaining.

The Lord has been faithful, giving me the grace to be committed and faithful to something that had been very difficult for me. It's such a wonderful feeling to not be so consumed with what I look like and just be me. I don't even think about my weight now unless someone mentions it! I'm just enjoying the moments and events and places I go. It's wonderful!

Now, on to the next issue He wants to work on in my life!