Today, as I stood waiting in the radiology department for my results, I knew that once I heard the twist of the doorknob, that my life could change forever from that moment on. I found myself at the radiology department getting my annual mammogram. Last year and the "season" the Lord had me go through, with getting a call back, another mammogram, an ultrasound, a biopsy, and then surgery..... and then the final results was a non cancerous papiloma. It is hard to describe the emotions that one goes through as they walk through such an "ordeal". So, many thoughts and questions went through my mind and heart. Waiting for each results I think was the hardest on me. How do I tell my children? I was picturing my own funeral. What about all the things in my heart that the Lord has put there, that I want to see accomplished. You just want to know and then you can begin to deal with whatever the answer is.
So, as I went in today, one year later, I had some trepidation and to be really honest, I think that this moment was weighing heavily in the back of my mind and on my heart for the last year,wondering what the results would be this time.
Once the test was done today, the wonderful lady who did the test, left me in the room, as she went to talk to the radiologist. I sat in the room alone, for about 10 minutes...waiting...and praying. Then the twist of the doorknob sounded....and this was the moment I was dreading. The radiologist walked in, said, everything looks perfectly fine. No problems. We will see you in a year. I got up, and HUGGED him. He smiled and said, "thank you". Then I hugged the lady who did the test.
I kept on telling the Lord, while I was waiting that "I am trying to trust you Lord, with my life". But I really would like some good news this time. And I told him that even if the results were not what I wanted to hear, that He was still good and still faithful.
Tonight I will lay my head on my pillow with a grateful heart and will continue to ponder and learn from the emotional journey this last year and how that waiting for the twist of the doorknob, could become so life changing.