A mother's heart.....

From the moment we hear the news that we are with child, in a family way, have a bun in the oven, there is something that happens within a mother's heart.... that forever will be changed. It is a change that remains within us for the rest of our lives. No longer is life about us, we now have a part of us, that has been given to us as a responsibilty, priviledge and incredible gift. Ours to train, raise, love, direct, pray with, discipline, laugh, giggle, enjoy, support, exhort, encourage and on and on it goes. No matter how old are children are a mother's heart and love for them remains the same....whether they are tucked in their beds for a nap or they are off to college or married and moved far away. It makes no difference. You would think that them being older would be easier... for me, I have often thought, if only they were 2,6,& 8 again and I was tucking them down for a nap and the worse thing that could happen was they would pee the bed. I often tell myself today, I wish I wouldn't of been so concerned about the "little" things when they were younger, and just enjoyed them more. They grow up so fast...I would take a pee bed anyday. .. Today, each of my 3 precious children are facing some obstacles that makes my mother's heart weep....I know that the Lord loves them more than I do (even though I can't imagine that!) My little buns in the oven, have all grown up to be responsible young adults. They are great people who love the people around them and make a difference in people's lives. They each have servant hearts for which I am thankful to the Lord for. I know it has been in the difficulties of life, that the Lord continues to mold me and my character. So, I know He will do the same for each of my 3 little buns. Oh, the love of mother......

Because He lives...I can face tomorrow.....

Sitting up in the green section, in the outdoor Ampitheater at the Oregon State Fair, and listening to the gospel message being sung by the Gaither Vocal Band was a breath of fresh air and a ministry to this worshipping heart. Now, this is what I call gospel music. As I looked around, almost the whole crowd was my generation or older. Since the Gaithers became popular in the early 70's, a lot of young people today have never heard of them nor their music. It is a vast difference in what you hear today that people call "christian" music. It was just a ministy to my heart. Yes, a platform of seasoned artist who know their instruments and know how to sing...but also, they minister, not perform.

A comical aspect of the concert was that the BUNGEE JUMPING ride was right beside the outdoor theater. Everytime, someone would take the JUMP, a big gong sound would penetrate the airwaves... so as we are listening to the concert we are also enjoying the view of the brave ones who dare to try such a ride. I told Jim I wouldn't ride it for a million dollars and I wouldn't. I think it is a heart attack waiting to happen!

I am grateful for christian musician who minister with their God given talents and not perform. It is when they minister that Jesus is glorified and not they themselves.

Back in Oregon

Back in Oregon..... These signs awaited me when I got home. I love my honey.....

I slept most of the day on Friday. On Saturday, I unpacked, did laundry, paperwork and took a walk. Jim was gone at Chaplain Academy in Salem all day.

My heart continues to process my time in Alaska. It was such a special time for me. I am thankful the Lord knows my heart. May I remain faithful to what He has placed before me.

Alaska Day#9

In just a few hours I will be at the airport and then ready to fly home early in the morning... What a fast week...what a blast of a week...so fun, so many memories, so much laugher that brought us to tears, and reminiscing...and then added so many more memories to our already long list.....

The older I get...the more I recognize that there is nothing more important in life than relationships(and to do everything within my power to keep them whole and healthy.).. besides our relationship with the Lord. Things don't matter, possessions are not what make one fulfilled and content...... there is nothing that warms my heart more than a hug from a family member or friend.

I leave with a full heart..... a grateful heart.....My time with each of my family members has been so fun!!!

I miss my honey.....so it will be good to be back with him.

To all of you who followed this blog, I hope you enjoyed my wild Alaskan adventure. Someday, I pray the Lord calls us back to this great State.....

I am and will always be a true Alaskan, Terry

Picture#1 my unhappy face as I realize that I won't be able to see Sarah Palin...

Picture #2 beautiful picture I took of bleeding hearts at my brother Kenneth's home

Alaska Day #8

My last night with the sisters..... we are in our jammies and are going to watch a movie about the life of Thomas Kincaid...... The two pictures are of us 8 kids so many years ago as we began our adventure in the great northland of Alaska in 1964. The second picture is of the beautiful Anchor River surrounded by fireweed.... It is where the Lord brought us, to the homestead those many years ago. It is here in this place, that the Lord had ordained for us, that we found Him.... I will write again tomorrow evening before I leave Alaska...... Just going to cherish the moments I have left with the sistas!

Always an Alaskan by Heart, Terry

Alaska Day #7

Really, Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

I slept in till after 10am this morning. It was wonderful. Debby has a nice cozy bed for me upstairs and I just slept away....

By the time we left the house it was noon... we headed to a giant used bookstore in Anchorage called the Title Wave. It was enormous and a blast to walk around. I found about 5 books I am going to attempt to pack in my suitcase.

Then we headed out to Eagle River to visit our nephew, Aaron. It was fun to see him again. He is such a special young man.

On the way home from Eagle River we then had to stop at the new Target store! Yes, can you believe it, Anchorage has not only 1 target, but is getting ready to open its 2nd one soon....

We got home and Debby fixed fresh salmon and halibut that was just caught on Saturday by George, my nephew. He went out on a charter in Seward. Boy, it tasted wonderful....I could eat Salmon and Halibut every day!

After dinner we then headed to Walmart to buy some souveniers. I found a few for some folks back home and had to make sure I got t-shirts for the grandkids.
During the course of our day we had to stop and always take photos of any vanity plates we could find. I heard Alaska has the highest rate of vanity plates and I believe it. It is fun to find them and to try to figure out what they mean. It brings much laughter, and photo shooting as we are driving around.

The three pictures are of:

1. a MOOSE.... it walked slowly right in front of us on Diamond Blvd tonight. You can barely see it, but it is there!

2. My favorite license plate thus far. I am a fan of Greta Van Susteren so this is for her!

3. My sisters with Aaron. Sharing with him the photos from this weekend in Homer.

Always an Alaskan by heart, Terry

Alaska Day #6

What a special day! We got up early and headed out to the Engebretsen homestead for breakfast with the clan. It was such a treat to be with them all again. We laughed and hugged and told more stories... What an incredible gift the Lord has given to me to allow me to attend and be a part of this special occasion. When I think of the Engebretsens, I think of family. They are so much a part of my young life. And each of them have impacted my life to some degree or another. I will always be grateful to the Lord that He brought our family to Alaska, to the River Bottom, and placed us in the path of this family. Today would be Edith Engebretsen's birthday. It is also the anniversary of the first day my own family moved into our homestead, August 3, 1965. Edith brought us down some green jello as a welcome. We were SO excited. As we didn't have electricity so we didn't have a refrigerator, so jello was such a treat for us. I am now even more motivated to write my own story of my childhood on the river bottom on the Anchor River.....

We spent a couple hours this morning looking over the old Engebretsen homestead and taking more pictures. After the last goodbyes and hugs and promises to keep in touch..... we loaded up in the car and headed back to Anchorage. We made a stop in Kenai to see our sister Vicki and had lunch with her. It was great to see her again.

Then we hopped back in the car, headed up the Sterling and Seward Highways and got back into Anchorage in the early evening.

I am in Anchorage for a couple more days and we have some things planned. One thing for sure is we are sleeping in tomorrow.

Alaskan By Heart, Terry

The top picture was taken at the end of the Spit. It is a sight that I will never tire from. The second picture is of all four of us sisters in a Time Bandit Crab Pot....

Alaska Day #5

I am sitting at Safeway, Starbucks, free internet Wi-fi tonight to post this blog. Today was such a great day to add to the weekend. Kenneth and Theresa, Debby and Marie...we are all sitting here eating pretzels, sugar free fudgsicles and laughing...so, I am going to try to attempt to write this blog.

Today, I was able to attend Church on The Rock..... It was WONDERFUL... what a blessing to be able to attend, and to worship with so many that I love. I love the heart of Pastor Aaron and how the Lord is using him. How special for him to preach while his family was attending today. It was biblically based and sound and given from the heart of a shepherd to the sheep. What a good word he gave, now may I be obedient to walk in it... I am so thankful the Lord allowed me to attend, as I had been hearing so much about it this last year. If I lived in Homer, I would most definitely attend! I took a lot of pictures, that will soon be posted on my facebook account. It takes a lot of time to post pictures.....

The first picture is of all our family that attended church together this morning. What an incredible experience it was to sit with a lot of my family....

The second picture is of me and Dr. Raymond. I worked for him for 8 years in Homer and he always has a special place in my heart. It was a blast to stop in and see him.

This weekend in Homer has been incredible. Much family time...much laughter.... many new memories and many stirred up old ones..... The Lord is faithful...

Always An Alaskan, Terry

Alaska Day #4

Actually it is Saturday, August 1st, 2009

Today was the day we had all waited for....and it was worth the wait..... there were so many people today at the picnic, that it will take some time to upload all of the photos I took. It is late tonight,so I don't have time....I have just added these two for now. The top one is of all the Engebretsen children, plus Harold with six of the Fitts/Halpin children with our dad, Ken. We are in the SWAMP BUGGY... that is what we use to ride in to catch the bus..... REALLY..... It was a memory and we all had to climb into it again ....but this time none of us hopped right in like we did 40 years ago...we all had to use a ladder. We were laughing so hard....what a special memory.... It was a blast to see so many people from my past. I think I took 104 pictures.... they will be up soon.

How special to hug Harold. That is the bottom picture. He is definitely someone important in my heart from my childhood. Him and Edith(his wife) who is with Jesus now were very instrumental in our family coming to know Jesus so many years ago....

We spent the whole day with family.... later on in the evening my family got together to play games...but we never did play...we just sat around the living room laughing so hard about our childhood and stories about people that are special to us.... as we were growing up ...... So much laughter....so many memories....so many side aches from laughing....

My feet are tired from standing so much today, my eyes are sore because of lack of sleep, my heart is full because of so much love of family and friends....

Alaskan By Heart, Terry

Alaska Day #3

Really Friday Evening, July 31st, 2009

Here I sit at a hotel in Homer that has the SLOWEST internet possible. I cannot download any of my 100 pictures that I took today. I was wanting to put a few on this blog. Tomorrow morning we are headed out for coffee and a place that we can get on the internet with some speed that will allow us to post pictures....so pictures will have to wait till morning...
We left Anchorage at around 10:30am and had a leisurely beautiful drive of 220 miles to Homer. I took some great photos. My sisters were laughing at me at what I was taking pictures off... We stopped in Soldotna at the Moose is Loose Bakery so I could see some special friends. Then we stopped in Clam Gulch at the mile marker post and put up a purple ribbon in memory of mom....near the site of her accident almost 17 years ago. We also stopped at her grave that is in Anchor Point. It is a beautiful spot that overlooks Cook Inlet. We put a purple ribbon on her cross that marks her grave and had some pondering moments there.....
We headed to Homer and found our hotel.... then we took a drive out to the Spit and went through town.... or as Homer teens call it, We did a town lap.... Then headed out to my brother, Kenneth's house and his wife Theresa and had a HALIBUT dinner. :} Uncle Mark and Isi and my dad came over too. We had tons of pictures and much laughter. I was able to see Samantha, my niece, and see her new engagement ring!!! She will be a beautiful bride this November. There is nothing and I mean nothing like family..... I am so incredibly blessed and thankful for the family I have and the relationships the Lord has built among us as adult siblings.
I better get to bed as it is early morning already...we might look for a different hotel room for the next few nights as this one doesn't have some of the necessities that the brochure said.... we will see....
p.s. Homer is incredibly beautiful.... I am going to take a walk on the beach in the early morning as Debby and Marie go for a run.... a good time to ponder, pray, think and listen.....

An Alaskan By Heart, Terry

Alaska Day #2

Today....I was on the hunt for Sarah Palin...a dream of mine is to meet her and to give her a hug!!! From the moment that John McCain introduced her to the world almost a year ago, I fell in love with this lady that lives by her convictions and stands up for righteousness and truth. My sisters, Debby and Marie and I headed out to Wasilla, Alaska. It is about a 35 minute drive east of Anchorage...I had my camera in hand as we walked around Target in Wasilla just in case Sarah happened to be in there... Every where we went we kept our eyes open to find her.... We didn't see her, so I finally got the nerve to call her. Her number is not unlisted. The phone rang and rang, no answer, no answering machine...boo hoo....So, off we went to hunt out her home.... we found the driveway going to her home. It is in a beautiful spot on Lake Lucille.... the driveway is long and signs are posted everywhere that say NO TRESSPASSING and PRIVATE PROPERTY.... So, we didn't drive down the lane.... BUT, I did get out and go stand by one of the signs as you can see by the picture above. That is the closest I was going to get to Sarah UNTIL.......... this big black truck drives up to go down the driveway....the truck stopped, the window unrolled and there I was standing face to face with Bristol Palin! She is more beautiful in person than what you see on TV. Anyway, I chatted with her a little and told her my heart for her mother and that I was praying for her and I asked her to share it with her mom. She said she would. I didn't know if Sarah was home or not and Bristol didn't give any information out. I didn't want to push my luck. She was very gracious to me and such a sweetie she is. So, I am thrilled!

Another memory is that we were able to see our nephew Aaron in Eagle River. What a treat that was. Can hardly believe he is 18 now. He was such a little boy last time I saw him. Now he is a handsome young man!

What a special day it was..... time for bed..tomorrow is a big day...heading to Homer.....YEAH!!!!!

An Alaskan By Heart, Terry

Alaska Day #1

Greetings from the land of the Midnight Sun!!!! I have arrived in Anchorage and my sisters were inside the airport to greet me with this sign! I feel so loved!!!! I just asked a stranger who we were standing by, waiting for our luggage, to take our picture. I love my sisters.....

It is 10:35pm here and still light outside. It is so beautiful, and the mountains so majestic. I love this land. There is just something about Alaska.

I must share with you a "God thing" that I experienced on the plane. Out of all the people that I could of sat beside, I had a gentleman from Palmer that knew SARAH PALIN personally. We had a great conversation. I told him to tell her that there is a lady in Oregon that loves her and is praying for her! He said he would....

It is a little cooler here than Portland. 61 degrees when I landed. The coolness felt good. Glad I brought a fleece jacket to wear.

I am grateful for this opportunity to be here and look forward to a fun week filled with all sorts of adventures. I know there will be tons of laughter and hugs....

I will write each evening and share a photo or two of the day's adventure.

An Alaskan by heart..........Terry

For the souls and hearts of my grandchildren.....

I am not a mall shopper. I don't enjoy going to the mall. I am not one of those that would just go to pass time. I was given a gift card to Bath and Body Works so thought I would run into the mall and see if there was anything I wanted to buy there..... I found myself so overcome with saddness at the state of our world and what the "world" is saying to our young people.... My heart immediately cried out to the Lord for the souls and hearts of my grandchildren... All over you could see the voice of IMAGE, MATERIALISM, and blarring with unclad manikins and shoppers loaded with bags, of things they probably didn't even need.... What has America come to? I pray desperately for my precious Taylor and Tanner and any others that the Lord would bless our lives with. That despite the state of this world, they would have a revelation to their precious tender hearts of the love of Jesus.... and it is through HIM only that you find your worth and value, not through things of this world, or what they are saying you must have or must be. That they would know that He does have a plan for them and it is for good. That they would value what He values and not what the world is screaming to them at every turn. This is my gift to them...that I have and will continue to commit to pray for them on my face before the Lord every day. I did not buy anything...and the gift card still sits in my wallet....

"What is that to you?"

I have pondered this verse from John 21:22 for some time now. I can remember the moment, I clearly heard the Lord speak this verse to my heart. I found myself perturbed by a certain individual who was responding in very selfish, prideful behavior.... I wanted to give them a piece of my mind....and I can clearly hear the Lord's voice, still to my heart..."What is that to you, Terry, YOU follow me. It is a continued lesson in my life. Whatever the Lord has asked of me, that is where my heart needs to walk in obedience. Others can choose, what they may...I must remain faithful and true to what the Lord has asked of me. More and more, I am understanding that it is the process that the Lord brings us through, and not the "end" result that is most important.

Waiting.....

I am finding myself waiting for something specific...... it is a hard place to be.... not knowing and yet learning to trust the One who does know.... Isn't it interesting the journeys the Lord brings us on. Each of us have a different journey, different road maps, different directions, but the Lord's ultimate goal in it all, is for us to find Him in deeper ways. I don't always like this culdesac feeling that I am finding myself in at the moment, but I know I am not alone. He sees every step and understands the anxiousness of my heart. I am thankful for that.

2009 A New Year.... of hopes & dreams...

These pictures were taken during Christmas at Mike & Laci's new home in Napavine, Washington. Auntie Marie took the family shot, so I had to include her in the other picture. She is wearing my mom's blouse that gets passed around year to year as a surprise. It is such an ugly blouse but we love it, because it was my moms. :}

The first day of 2009 is almost coming to a close...... I have come to a conclusion of late..... that the "process" the Lord has me in, waiting for Him to fulfill the deep cries of my heart, that, that "process" is when the Lord does the greatest work in us...it is not the final destination, or when we think we have arrived...(which we never do) it is the everyday, day to day, being faithful and finding Him in all the little things..... and it is in the "process" that we are changed.... So, it is with anticipation I look forward to this New Year. Recognizing that He is working in me, knowing He has my best interest in mind and knows my heart. What a Savior we have! So, my heart rests and trusts in Him......